1.03.2019

What I Learnt in 2018. Getting Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

Multiple Sclerosis

Hello hello! I hope you are having a cracking start to 2019 (how are we already on to the 3rd day of it?!) and feeling refreshed and set for the year ahead.

I'm planning to share a post in the next few days on my goals/resolutions for the next 12 months, but I thought it might be good to first share a wee post on one of the main things I learnt last year.

Without sounding too gloomy *soz*, 2018 was probably up there as my hardest year. It 100% had so many amazing, fun elements, from moving out with my boyfriend and venturing on cute getaways, to time with friends and getting a new car (whoop).

But to be completely honest, for the most part my mindset was in quite a strange place.

I'm always excited by the concept of a new year. A clean slate and the chance to almost start again to some extent. But this time round I felt the buzz more than ever before.

So, unsurprisingly, when the clock struck 12 and marked the start of the new year ahead, I genuinely felt such a sense of relief.  Fast forward a few days and that feeling is still here now. Cringe alert, but I'm so ready to own 2019 and make it my year.

With that said, let's chat about the number one thing that I learnt in 2018...

I am a lot stronger than I thought

So I'm currently bricking it whilst typing this, but the start of last year was quite tough. After issues with vision in one of my eyes and an appointment at my doctors, I was instructed to head to the eye casualty department at the hospital the next morning. Though my doctor had mentioned his concern over what the eye-related issue could be down to, I headed to the hospital as instructed (in slight denial) hoping for the best.

Due to multiple visits with various tests taking place, the following few months proved to be quite a blur. As much as I tried to distract myself, when you're signed off work for just short of a month, it's quite hard to not let your mind run free with what could be going on.

Come the end of March I was told it was what they had initially thought; that I have Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

So yes, that's the score! It wasn't the best start to 2018, admittedly, but I'm so grateful that I found out when I did as I now have an awareness of it and the opportunity to look after myself so I can be as healthy as can be. The support I've had has been incredible - the NHS are absolutely amazing and I feel seriously lucky that I have access to the service!

Despite the somewhat crappy news, my eye healed and I can very, very happily say that, despite a few blips, I'm now absolutely fine. As a result, I'm a lot more considerate of my health (though thought to what I was eating over Christmas was pretty much non-existent...). If anything, it's been a massive wakeup call.

My body, happiness and health are so bloody important. From here on out I'm going to keep up the yoga, eat well and keep any silly worries at bay *to name just a few positive steps*. Oh, and as unnecessary stress is a massive no-no, not take any bullsh*t, either.

99% of the time, I'm great. Minus the nurse appointments and taking treatment, life is pretty much the same as it was prior to January last year.

Though I say this, it has taken me a good stretch of time to feel this way. Being told was quite a shocker, and when I was, I felt almost every emotion for a while after. I thought I should probably mention this as from reading into it, and speaking to other people, it isn't out of the ordinary. It's hardly like one would be skipping through the fields after finding out, but, it's so important to try and stay as positive as possible. I had quite a stretch of struggling with this, and feeling/being my usual happy self, but since doing so, and successfully getting out of it, it's made the biggest difference to my wellbeing.

Looking at me, you wouldn't even know (which I admit, I love). Since being diagnosed I've kept it on the down-low for the most part, with me telling just a small handful of people. Part of me likes keeping this part of my life to myself, but reading other people's words and experiences has been so helpful, so if me sharing this can benefit even one person then it's 100% worth it. It could be so much worse, and that's something I try and keep at the forefront of my mind.

MS doesn't define me, and it's never something that's going to.

So it may sound a little silly, but from all of this I really have come to realise how strong I am. The past twelve months I feel like I've become a lot more self-aware and particularly the past two months, more driven to keeping myself as happy and healthy as possible.

Here's to 2019 - I've got a good feeling about it.

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2 comments

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but its also a positive that you found out about it when you did and now are feeling much better. You're so strong and not letting it define you is the best thing you can do for sure. Here's to 2019 being a super positive and happy one!

    Lucy | Forever September

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    1. Hi Lucy, thank you so much for your lovely comment, I really appreciate it! Here's to an amazing 2019! :) xx

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